Almost
by oopsidied
Summary: The incident at Toffee's castle has left a weight on Star and Marco that neither of them can bear. Alone, that is. Starco.


**A/N: So this is the first thing I've written in a long time, so I'm mainly writing this to get back into the swing of things. Also the season finale had me flipping the fuck out the whole time and I reallly don't want the show to go back on hiatus despite the fact that it will, so I guess writing sort of angsty but also cute Starco is how I'm gonna cope with the (supposed) 8 month break between seasons.**

The floorboards weren't the only things that had trouble bearing the weight of the two teens. Thoughts from the past few hours had raced through their minds, leaving the heavy presence of a few unpleasant questions and even more unpleasant truths. The tension between the two threatened to crash under its own weight.

They walked up the stairs in silence, occasionally glancing in the other's direction. When they reached their respective doorways, neither of them dared to reach for the door.

"Marco-"

"Star-"

"Sorry, you first."

"Marco, can we talk? About… all of this?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, following her through the doorway of her bedroom.

Various possessions were scattered across the floor. Half the drawers on her dresser had been left unclosed. It was definitely messier than before she left. The four-poster bed against the left wall had been the only thing that didn't look like a burglar had gone through it, even though the covers were a bit messy. A lone picture of Star with one arm around a beaming Marco lied on the pillow. The two sat down on the bed, stared longingly at the wall, and waited for the other to speak.

"Marco."

"Yeah?"

"Marco, we almost died. Both of us."

"I know, I was there, Star. I don't think it was the first time that happened." He turned his head farther away, trying to avoid her eyes.

"That was different. Like, then it was quick and we didn't see it but this time, you're slowly getting crushed and I'm staring at the guy doing it, and next thing you know, the wand's gone." She stopped for air. "I almost completely lost all my magic. I almost lost _you_." A pause filled the room with a suffocating silence. "We didn't win, Marco. They did; Toffee did. We lost." This time, he turned to look at her, and he instinctively reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

"No we didn't, Star, I made it out okay, and so did you and tha-"

"You don't understand, Marco. We always blast Ludo and his monsters no problem, but this time we couldn't defeat them. They were the ones who made _us_ surrender."

"Look, Star, I know we may have lost, but not everyone wins all the time. This time might have been a bit closer than others, but we're okay, right?" She stared back at him and swallowed, hard.

"No. No, it's not ' _okay'_ , Marco! I almost lost you! I almost lost you and it was _all my fault!"_ she shouted, her voice faulting more with each syllable. Tears pooled in her eyes, and ran down her face. Marco was quickly taken aback, but rebounded to stare her in the eyes once more, placing another hand on her shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault, Star. It was Toffee's, and his monsters. They were the ones who kidnapped me." She still said nothing, so he kept going. "You didn't make them take me to that castle, you were the one that saved me. It's your fault that I'm still alive," he said, smiling a genuine smile at her. He pulled her deep into his arms, tears from her face running down the crook of his neck.

"I was a huge jerk, Marco. If I hadn't made you so mad at me, I wouldn't have let them take you." She tightened her grip on his waist, holding on with a desperate strength. "We almost lost each other. You could have lost me too. What if I was the one he took? What would you do then?" It was the first of her questions he didn't have an answer to.

 _What would I do?_ When he couldn't fathom an answer, he returned the strength of her hold. The overwhelming truth became seated at the forefront of his thoughts, causing a painful lump to form in his throat. "I'm not going to lose you, I'm not going to let anyone take you. Ever." The pangs in his chest and the lump in his throat tightened as the words left his mouth. Neither of them dared to break the silence. Neither of them dared to let go.

They sobbed into each other's shoulders, dropping all of their defenses as their cathartic cries filled the silence. The pain subsided. Their muscles relaxed and they were left, drained of everything that had been tearing them apart.

"Marco?" she asked in a hushed voice into his ear.

"Yeah, Star?"

"I don't want to lose you either."

"You won't. I'll never let that happen."

"I knew you wouldn't." A warm smile made its way to both of their faces. Their grips loosened and they looked gently into each other's eyes. She snuggled into the collar of his t-shirt and felt light as she let the worries that had been plaguing her dissipate into the air.. He ran his fingers down the length of her hair and felt at ease with the feeling- no, the fact- that everything and everyone was going to be alright.

They let go of each other, eventually. As much as they didn't want to, they did know that they had to sleep, but that was alright. They were content, and they both could sense that. They smiled bright smiles at each other as Marco walked back out of the doorway, free of the oppressive weight of the tension that had been forced on them. He glanced back over at her doorway and smiled before walking through his own.

He changed into his night clothes, turned off the light and crawled into bed, the exhaustion that filled him making itself known.

Sleep came to them both rather quickly. They floated off with pleasant thoughts, and a shared sense of comfort in the subconscious presence of each other.

* * *

I do hope this wasn't too bad. This was written at like 2 AM so forgive me if something seems off.


End file.
